my brain is basically a jackass

Last night, The Simpsons did a clever little parody of the movie Inception. It reminded me of an odd dream quirk I've been experiencing for the last year.

My dreams have always been pretty far out. I've had dreams in foreign languages (languages I don't speak, like Japanese and Italian), dreams with subtitles, dreams in black & white, and dreams within dreams, just like Inception.

About a year ago, I dreamt that several friends and I were painting my kitchen. I picked the microwave up off its shelf and set it on the counter so I could paint the shelf. In reality I haven't been strong enough to lift the microwave since 2009, but in dreams I could. Anyway, one of my friends says, "I didn't think you were strong enough to do that." I say, "Oh yeah, you're right." Then I put the microwave back on the shelf, walk over to my wheelchair, sit down, and spend the rest of the dream watching my friends paint the kitchen.

My subconscious is a total dick!

This happens all the time — at least a few times per week, and occasionally multiple times in one night! In a dream, I'll be walking or skiing or biking, and some bozo will say, "Aren't you too weak for that?" And I always say, "Oh yeah, you're right" and go sit in my chair. Of course, the bozo in question is me. I constantly sabotage my own dreams for some reason.

I think I have a solution. it comes from the great mind of Homer Simpson:


It's on, brain.