Saturday, February 11, 2012

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

campus man

This afternoon I'll be taking part in a neurology workshop at the UMN med school. First-year students will practice taking my medical history, then ask me basic diagnostic questions. My wheelchair is a pretty big clue to my condition, and I don't want to make it too easy for them, so here are a few things I'll say to throw them off.

  • "It really hurts when I pee."

  • "My sinuses sting — I think the fumes from my meth lab are getting to me."

  • "Can you write me a prescription for ketamine? I'm going to a rave this weekend."

  • "Are you familiar with Excitotoxicity? It's my favorite Def Leppard album."

  • "I'm in a wheel chair because of a freak mosh pit accident at a Neil Diamond concert."

The last time I did something like this, I had fun. Hopefully today will bring a few laughs.

I love keeping med students on their toes.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

acting twice my age

Here's a fun fact — people with ALS are eligible for Social Security, regardless of age. I guess the government figures we might as well see a little return on those Social Security taxes before we die. OK, maybe that isn't a 'fun' fact, but it's a fact nonetheless.

Since I'm basically retired & on Social Security, I get a lot of mail intended for the 65 and older set. This lovely little brochure showed up the other day:

According to their website, "SilverSneakers is a fun, energizing program that helps older adults take greater control of their health by encouraging physical activity and offering social events."

That sounds delightful, and if I were older than 33 and capable of physical activity I'd be all over it. The SilverSneakers obviously got my info from my insurance company, and I can't fault them for that.

However, I can fault them for this gem.

SilverSneakers has a clip art logo. It makes me sad.

If SilverSneakers was a volunteer organization with a shoestring budget, I'd understand the clip art. Turns out they're a division of a company called Healthways. Healthways is worth about $500 million. They have an original logo, but creating one for SilverSneakers must not have been in the budget. I guess half a billion dollars doesn't go as far as it used to.

C'mon, Healthways — kick a few bucks down to SilverSneakers so they can hire a designer. If you're going to print your logo on a bunch of shirts for old folks, at least make them look kind of cool.